Part of Creating a Life You Love means surrounding yourself with meaningful activities and positive people that inspire you to be a better and a happier person. But it also means looking inside oneself to declutter any unnecessary activity or habit that is draining our energy. This decluttering should be applied to your home as well as it is important to maintain a home environment that inspires peace, tranquillity and mindfulness.
DECLUTTERING THE MIND TO BRING TRANQUILLITY INTO YOUR LIFE
This month, as I was reading the 4 Agreements I thought about how much better life can be when you simplify things. In the book the author talks about how to simplify your thoughts for our own mental health. He explains that we make up too many stories in our mind about events and people, we make assumptions and we take things personally (we sort of make-up stories in our mind as a direct result of these two combined).I know it is hard not to take things personally, and some things will feel personal anyway (in the sense that they will still hurt) but I like this way of understanding life from a non-judgemental viewpoint. It helps you to detach and to understand that the reactions, comments and actions of people, as the author says, are a direct result of how they perceive themselves. We all tend to think that others will think as we do, react as we do, and Don Miguel actually calls this way of behaving:‘mirroring’ (love the methaphor!) And I couldn’t agree more.
Ever encountered a really angry person in the street that suddenly screams at you something? We usually think the person is crazy, or on a bad day but not many of us will take this personally. Clearly the guy is mirroring some angry feelings upon the first person he encounters. But we have more trouble applying the same principle to people closer to us when in fact, it works the same way. I am sure that the screaming guy of the example also has friends and family, but I hope for their sake, that they don’t take every single action he does too personally as this would take an enormous amount of energy from them. And we don’t have an infinite amount of energy.
WHY WE SHOULD ALL HAVE SOME SOLITUDE TO RECHARGE
Solitude is essential for creating, decorating, and appreciating your life, your friends, your home. Without solitude, the crazy rhythm of modern life will take over and rob you of your tranquillity. Many of us spend most of every day in front of the computer, the TV and the tablet or phone…It can be exhausting to the mind and to the spirit. It is only when we disconnect by unplugging ourselves from technology that we can be with our thoughts and enjoy whatever we have around us and come back to centre. It is only then that we fulfil our essential need for peace.
Solitude should be a part of every person daily lives. It has nothing to do with loneliness but with appreciating the time you are by yourself, unplugged. There is nothing wrong with embracing a quiet time by yourself. This is precious time that will help us to heal spiritually from any life wounds and that will teach you how to listen more deeply to your inner world. Silence allows for contemplation and reflection to become more present in our everyday lives.
PEACE FOR THE MIND & HOME
So apart from decluttering your spiritual life through solitude and simplicity you could also bring this sense of stillness ,calm, quiet relaxation, peace and tranquillity when decorating your home. You know that I love lists so here are 11 great ways to bring this together:
1 .- Declutter the Space
Don’t have too much stuff in your house, only the things that you really use and love. This is half common sense, half Marie Kondo’s advice 😛 Our mind cannot focus when the space is too busy so the simpler the better.
2.- Declutter the Mind
Find time to meditate, to journal if you can (which is like resetting the brain, really), and I find that the 4 agreements are quite interesting as a way to declutter the mind: Be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions and do your best. I will do a blog post only about this book soon as it showed me a very interesting way to look at things.
3.- Spend time with positive people
This may sound obvious, but we don’t always do this. Often times we find ourselves reaching out to people who CAN’T give us what we need. We hope they will change, that they will act differently but it puts an enormous amount of pressure on the person who doesn’t necessarily want to change. We may also assume that because family relationships are important for us, all our family members see things the same way and will work out any differences we may have because of that. But again, we are assuming they have the same values and that their priorities are the same, when we are only projecting our own needs into them. It is hard many times, but as hard as it is, we have to let people be whatever they want to be and whoever they want to be for us. It is not up to us, they are the ones in charge of their lives. We can only control our reactions to it and how we will deal with it. But the effects of surrounding yourself with positive people can be felt directly into your health. Spend time with people that bring the best in you and you will be happier, healthier and more in peace.
4.- Don’t react, wait and respond later if you need it
Often times we may find ourselves in a chaotic or stressful situation that calls for our immediate response. If emotions are involved, we may feel tempted to react in one way or another only to regret later. Take your time and leave if necessary. With a bit of time you will see how things and the ‘fog’ of emotions clears out. When you come back to it you will feel ready to answer more in line to what you truly believe.
5.- Set Clear Boundaries
This is a classic but works like a charm to create a peaceful life. Value your time, your hobbies and what you need and respect other people’s boundaries. The more you apply this, the more in peace you will feel. If somebody doesn’t respect your boundaries, it is a clear sign that you have to enforce them even more as you have the right to have that boundary. We are all different and we all have different boundaries. What would bother my friend may not bother me, but we should respect each other’s limits.
6.- Be authentically You
The good and the bad, the happy and the tired. The concept of ‘you’ is not necessarily that ideal version of yourself that we show on Instagram. Some days we’ll be tired, some days we will make mistakes, other days everything would be just fine. But we are all those things together and we shouldn’t be afraid of showing the less shiny part of our lives as it makes us human. The power of vulnerability by Rene Brown talks a lot about this, as without vulnerability we are like a white wall, perfect , shiny and completely forgettable. Other times the lack of vulnerability would look more like a black wall, as it would depend on how we go about not having vulnerabilities but it always comes of as hard and plain.
7.- Find time to be in nature regularly
This is something I didn’t get the time to do often when I was living in Spain but since I live in Ireland I do every day. It is really easy when you live in Ireland to be in contact with nature and its benefits are enormous. It is a fantastic way to disconnect from the pressures of everyday life and to enjoy the lush nature that Ireland has to offer.
8.- Practice your hobbies regularly
This habit will bring you peace as the more connected you are with your passions, the more in peace you will feel. By spending time in ‘just for fun’ activities you are giving yourself time to play, something that we are all risk to forget when becoming adults. We need this space to play, to disconnect, to do things for the sake of it in order to feel more connected with ourselves and to disconnect from our daily chores.
9.- Give yourself a day with NO TO-DOs
If you are a very productive person, and even if you aren’t you need a day where you just are. Going through the motions is coll sometimes as times goes more slowly and we have the same feeling we get when we are on holidays.
10.- Try not to spend money for a week on random things(instead plan for investments)
This could be things that you really need, home improvements or courses that you really wanted to do. It is quite amazing the amount of money we can spend in random things little by little and if we only saved in that we could afford something that we really want. Make a habit of this and you will be amazed with the results it brings into your life.
11.- Remind yourself what you are grateful for every day
Be careful with the ‘glass half-empty mentality’. It only brings disappointment and sadness into your life. Instead try to feel thankful for all the things that you do have, celebrate the little successes and those little battles that you will be wining. Bring gratitude into your daily life and you will bring tranquillity as well.
What is the habit that brings more tranquillity and peace into your life? Please comment below as I would love to hear your comments.
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